Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My doctor told me to start watching what I eat. What channel is the Pizza Network on?
Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.
Karate is just a violent way of making people smell your feet.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
I always hate when I miss out on wear your pajamas to Wal-Mart night.
If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they`d put cocaine back in their recipe.
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus.
What if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs?
"I’m not drunk!” is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
The grass is always greener where the bodies are buried.
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.