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I`m pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me suffer, while rolling her eyes and painting her nails.
The worlds gonna end in 5 days & I don`t know what I`m gonna wear.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
Dear Costumer Service: I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to you?
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
Has anyone seen where I put my organizational skills?
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
Anyone know where I can get a waterproof recliner for my shower?
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
Liquid sanity: I call it alcohol..!!
I probably shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night ... Especially as I walked there in the first place.
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
There better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober.