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Every woman in this world is beautiful...........except for the ugly ones!
I wonder how many strangers have stories about me.
If people say you`re acting "really weird," take it as a compliment that you usually only act semi-weird and now you`re totally nailin` it.
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
What about a To-Don`t List?
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
If money can`t buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
You might call it ‘whipped.’ I call it `guy who’s getting laid.’
Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?