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I want to spend the rest of my life photo bombing the Google street view camera shots dressed as Waldo.
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
Don’t underestimate my ability to do absolutely nothing.
If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
Do these `Skinny Jeans` make my blood circulation look more than purple or less than purple?
Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.
I`m just a guy standing in front of a huge pile of laundry wondering how flammable it is.
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
There`s a time and a place for alcohol ... In my hand and now.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.