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Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
Checking the time on your phone twice because you were`nt paying attention the first time
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
*Food hits floor* Little Germs: “Let’s get it!”King Germ: “No, we must wait 5 seconds!”
It’s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn`t even know they knew how to knit.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
Word of the day is bishop: My aunt fell down the stairs and I had to pick the bishop.
I just threw up my weekend.
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.