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If I don`t make at least one person scream, "WTF" then my day is not done yet.
Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn`t working out either.
My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
Flies are everywhere, unfortunately the second I grab the fly swatter, they turn into ninjas.
There’s a good reason I’m up this late: because I have to wake up really early.
What if the weather talks about us?
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
Everyone knows spray tans and Tang come from the same stem cells as Cheetos, so why does Wikipedia keep deleting my edits?
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
If it`s tourist season why can`t we shoot them?
Wow, it`s beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn`t a glare on my screen.