Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
Guinness for breakfast because its Ireland somewhere.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come to work
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
Pro tip: when you`re watching a show like "my five wives" with your wife, don`t suggest potential additional wives.
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
Was the little pig who built his house out of straw some sort of idiot?
So last night I put a whopee cushion on moms chair, waited and finally heard it go off.. I walk in with a massive smile on my face to find out that she hadn`t even sat on it yet.
Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I`m married and not allowed to make decisions.
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
GAL: Would you keep me in your heart forever? BOY: Nop! GAL: (sadly)...why? BOY: Because then you`ll occupy only one part of me...but i`ll keep you in my heart, mind & let you complete me.
Don`t just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It`s important to also watch some TV.
I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed, not my fault they dont have windows ...
When your Dr. says "I`ll need to Google that"..... it`s time to change Doctors