Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My neck, My back, My Netflix and my snacks...
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
I`m not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?
Drunk me absolutely loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
I`ve reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
The best thing about having male genitals is sharing it with people who don`t.
I wonder how many people read my statuses and say `I hope he`s getting professional help`?
Family and Friends - I am FAR too busy to listen to any of your problems or concerns *Googles do penguins go to heaven?*
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.
Don’t judge me because I only have $4 in my pocket. Judge me because I stole it off my daughter’s night stand.
Home is where the pants aren’t.
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...