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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
These police take Hide and Seek really seriously.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"? Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it.
No matter how old you are, If a little kid shoots you with a toy gun, you pretend to die.
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
I noticed you’re not yourself today. I really like it.
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you`re getting ready to take hostages.