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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
Me, watching the Olympics: "That was impressive." Announcer: "ANOTHER DISASTROUS MISTAKE!"
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza.....and then insist that he called me
Stop saying I`m hard to shop for. Surely you know where the liquor store is
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
I believe in the silver rule of life: Do unto others then run!
I didn’t sell my soul to the devil….we worked out a rent-to-own deal.
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.