Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Facial recognition software can pick out a person in a crowd, but this stupid vending machine at work can`t recognize my dollar bill with a bent corner...
I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
I love you more than I hate everyone else.
I think I`m gonna glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I`m a T-Rex.
If Olympic drinking was an event I would probably take gold in the floor routine.
One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling, "help! shark! help! " I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
Haircuts are great because I did none of the work but get all of the credit.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
I`m sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body.