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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
I read my kids a few select facebook statuses before bed, kiss them on their heads, and whisper, "This is why we have to stay in school"
They might as well put "Uhhh..." in front of every item on drive-thru menus.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
We get it people on Facebook. You`re married, you have kids, you`re happy. Calm down.
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.