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How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
If my sarcasm confuses you it`s because you`re stupid.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix… Don’t drink and derive!
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!”
I keep having this dream that I`m being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?
So long pants! See you Monday!
I was at a nice restaurant tonight and accidentally left out a loud fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?