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This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she`s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
You`d think Pizza Hut would be able to upgrade to a house by now.
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I’m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze on your way back?
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
Farts are like children. I`m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
Adulthood is basically sadness and paying bills.