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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
I want to spend the rest of my life photo bombing the Google street view camera shots dressed as Waldo.
It hurts to be in love. Oh wait, I`m sitting on my keys.
Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
is spending my children´s inheritance.
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener