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Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
Our office just got a new conference table. It sleeps 20.
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Why is it called cliffhanger and not
Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage, & a little bit of milk...they can keep a girl`s stomach full for 9 months.
Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn`t want to go to the store...
The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don`t want anymore children living on our street.
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what Iām talking about.
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting "UNSUBSCRIBE!"
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
These are not pizza stains on my shirt they are pizza memories, wonderful wonderful memories.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.