Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Wish my girlfriend was awake, could really do with a sandwich right now.
I just realized that the only time I`m good at dancing is when I`m about to pee my pants
I’m late for a disappointment.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
It’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home, right?
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…