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Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
I was in a taxi and the driver said "I love my job. I`m my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!" I said "That`s really great, now take a left here."
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
The future is that time when you’ll wish you’d done what you aren’t doing now.
I hear they designed the newest iPhone to fit perfectly in your hand, right where your money used to be.