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I`m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
If you listen real closely to my kids arguing tonight, you`ll hear the sound of me pouring a glass of wine.
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things
We`re sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
Card on top of gift reads `I want you wearing this tonight` only to open the gift to find NOTHING