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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
Don`t forget: it`s very important what strangers on the Internet think about you.
Technically, I don`t have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I`m not doing anything.
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
My baby girl is so polite. I told her she needed to share and she said "No, thank you"
Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is BS!
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.