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I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, Iām coming to your house with a facking baseball bat.
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
If life was easy, we wouldn`t need alcohol.
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
I always wrap someone`s fist bump with my high five because paper beats rock.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
My chemistry teacher asked us what the heaviest metal was today. Apparently "Megadeath" was the wrong answer.
I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.