Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much I’m going to eat this week.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
apparently telling my girlfriend her acuracy is as high as a magic 8 ball wasn`t a good idea.
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
If it`s any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day.
You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.