Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.
I’m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don’t want to hang out with you now… but I’m still very proud…
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me.
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
Every time I see a pregnant woman, I very much want to ask if she swallowed a watermelon seed.
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?
I love watching women`s beach volleyball. There have been two wrist injuries so far, but I should be ok by next week.
is ready to have one too many!