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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
It`s not stretching if it doesn`t involve crazy dinosaur noises.
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
Only a fool trips on what`s behind him.
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up
It`s amazing how tired I get from how little I do.
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
Girls are supposed to dance. That`s why god gave them parts that jiggle.
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.
I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It’s the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets.