Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend just threw away a bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I`m dating an animal :(
I don`t hate you, I`m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
Hey mother in law.... Don`t tell me how to raise my kids. Im still trying to raise yours.
Falling out of bed the fun way. Oh wait, there isn`t a fun way....
That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-
I`m on my 5th coffee, just in case you`re wondering about the "other way" to get to Narnia .
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...