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“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” would be a terrible way to let your child know that they’re adopted.
Please do not read this.
My fortune cookie read "End of roll. Replace"
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos!
Every pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself.
If my psychiatrist said "There`s really nothing more I can do for you", that means I`m cured right??
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
sorry abaut the message I sent you last night, my phone was drunk!
In my will, I´m giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesn´t say a word.
I think my “check engine” light has finally burned out. So that’s good.
who`s smart idea wus it to name a monkey Donkey Kong??
Check this one out.........1
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"