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Bored? Update your Facebook to “in a relationship” with someone you’ve never met just to see if they’ll confirm.
You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
is a mystery you´ll never solve
When I`m bored, I send a random text to a random number saying "I hid the body... now what?"
what is the first thing a homeless person does when he`s on a computer? he searches through the recycle bin
Sorry I`m late. I had five cups of coffee and became convinced I could probably bend a fork with my mind, so I had to give it an honest try.
I`m thinking about starting a vegetarian dance club... I`m going to call it "lettuce turnip the beets". What do you think?
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
Dear Fox news,I have yet to see any news about foxes. Sincerely, disappointed viewer.
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
My boyfriend isn`t allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.