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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
I don`t smoke,i don`t drink,don`t do drugs. I only have one small problem, i lie.
Just printed out 50 copies of today’s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I’m just not in the mood for small talk.
I just can’t stop thinking of all the people who signed my yearbooks that I have let down by failing to “stay cool”
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We`ll both regret it soon enough.
I`m honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
I want it all and I want it delivered.
Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.
Really offended that these microwave instructions told me to turn my burrito over gently like I don`t treat every burrito with the utmost respect
I’m moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn`t? ... Yeah, I don`t have one of those.
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!