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I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
Life would be so much more fun if there were random Dukes of Hazzard style car ramps along the drive to work.
Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you’re a terrible person and had it coming.
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
I do my best proofreading after I hit `send`.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
I`d like to test the theory that money can`t buy you happiness.
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
I`d publish my autobiography but it`s just a bunch of liquor stained pages filled with doodles, and rants about stupid people.
I`m 0-9 on finding secret rooms behind bookcases.
Dear women at Walmart with 6 screaming kids: if your wondering how that box of condoms got in your cart.... Your welcome!
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.