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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn`t stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying.
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
The hardest part about a Zombie Apocalypse is pretending I’m not excited.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.