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The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
Have you ever woke up pissed at someone because of something they did in your dream?
Dear liver…. Here is an advance sorry for tonight… sincerely Jimmy…
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
Don`t be embarrassed by who you are. Unless you`re stupid. Then you`re pretty much screwed.
Its not you, it`s how you don`t make me sandwiches.
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
I hate it when people call dogs "stupid". I mean, when was the last time you saw a dog step in human poop?
All of my selfies are just still shots from surveillance footage.
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
Don`t be sad if you didn`t get a Valentine`s Day gift, lt`s not the end of the world. That`s still ten months away.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
Congratulations on becoming a homeowner! From now on, every noise you hear will cost you money.
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.