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I`m actually a really good driver, when Facebook is down.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
Let`s all have a moment of silence for people who can`t have a moment of silence because they have kids.
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
There`s only one kind of exercise I know and its the beer run.
My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.
SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?
Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.
"I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone" -girls who can`t figure out boyfriend`s passwords