Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
Don`t ever forget.. I`m always here. A l w a y s. Scrolling. Judging. Judging. Scrolling. That`s right. I see everything.
I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
If going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions.
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: ...
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!
Just think, there is an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: "Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?"
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.
Laughter is the best medicine, but if you are laughing for no reason, you might need medicine.