Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
We all have that friend who acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes.
Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
Went looking for camouflage underwear today.....couldn`t find any
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesturday, yesturday you were pretty f*cking annoying.
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper
Im just waiting for the day for Ashton Kutcher to go to Charlie Sheen and say "its stilll your show. YOU JUST BEEN PUNK`D!"
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.
Mosquito`s and parking inspectors must be from the same family...