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They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that`s why I surround myself with lazy people
Sorry I`m late, the floor was lava
It`s pretty cool how vodka always has such `great` ideas.
Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a "Which Muppet Are You?" quiz.
Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
Instead of exes, they should be called whys.
Dear person reading this, I could be naked right now and you would never know.
2 out of 3 isn`t bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids.
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
Garage sales are the gateway drug to Walmart.
Since joining Facebook, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face.