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Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
once a homeless guy said to me `Hey you got a dollar` and I said `wow your absolutely right..with psychic powers like that I`m surprised your still homeless` got in my car and left..
A man walks into a bar & orders a beer. He drinks it, looks in his pocket & orders another. This happens 7 more times. Bartender asks, "What`s in your pocket?" Man says, "I have a photo of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I`ll go home."
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
feels guilty for not spending more time with my kids. I should really get them a Facebook account.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah`s ark.
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
"Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who`s pointing out a constellation
I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.
You know a woman really loves you when she vandalizes your car after an argument.