Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
New camo condoms! She`ll never see you coming again.
I only change the kitty litter like once every two weeks but in my defense I don`t have a cat
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
Must you really ask why I have my selfie on top of my Christmas tree?
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
Aren`t they Middle-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles now?
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
I liked you better before we met.
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
Sometimes, I don`t know how I`m going to get through the day. Then I remember: I have beers waiting for me at home. I can do this for them
Today feels like a stay in bed, pull the blankets over your head, and pretend you`re on an adventure in a kangaroo`s pouch type of day
awesome collection!
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.