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Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
Wine doesn`t have many vitamins. That`s why you have to drink a lot of it.
I`m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
Sometimes I feel that I need someone special to complete me, but then I have a pizza and I`m like, "Nope. I`m good."
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
Be the best you can be, while being the worst that you`re able to get away with.
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
My wife is a sex object. Every time I want to have sex, she’ll object.
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.