Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I met a woman on a dating site that said she was high maintenance when I finally saw her it looked more like she was in need of major repairs
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of of there would make him gay, haha problem solved ....
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
Nice tan, what`s your race? Carrot?
Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books