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According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
I simply haven’t seen enough solid evidence that suggests not drinking is better than drinking.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot ... I didn`t even know I had a wife.
Magic words that make my children disappear: 1) Bath time. 2) Who did this?!?! 3) When I was your age...
Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can`t do is pick up it`s own poop. You`re just a poop collector.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
Farts are just ghosts of things that we ate. ;D
I`m not saying I`m out of shape but I just stretched, got winded, and need to lie down
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!
The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.