Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
First fart at my new job.
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
You never realize what you have till its gone... Toilet paper is a good example.
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you can´t chug that whole beer!"
To the makers of rice cakes; thanks for nothing!
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
Don`t get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.” -Me, after eating one healthy meal.
Life is to short ... to waste time matching socks.