Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Whoever gets the gift from me that has scissors under the wrapping paper, I`m going to need those back.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
Fact: 96% of all arguments end with somebody saying “Google that shit!”
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
Sometimes the only reason I leave my house is so when someone asks about my day I don’t have to say “Netflix and avoiding responsibilities"
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
My neighbors complained that I never mow my lawn. So I started mowing. The cops showed up at 3 a.m.. These neighbors are never happy...
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.
Apparently my "Please STFU" face bears a strong resemblance to my "Oh, Please Keep Talking" face.