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My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
The best things in life require no pants.
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
Woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on my face....damn kids and thier sharpies.
I wonder if dogs ever wake up in the morning and think "dear god please don`t take me jogging with you today"?
2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
First you`re telling me to be myself, then you`re telling me to stop being an idiot. Make up your mind!
Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you`re in Starbucks.
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
The best thing about smartphones is that you don`t have to refold maps anymore.
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.