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Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
When the hostess at the restaurant says “table for 2?” I always like to look surprised and whisper “you can see her too?”
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
People who say "Don`t mix drugs with alcohol"" ... they`re stupid, right?
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.
Laptop speakers, too quiet for music, too loud for porn.
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol