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If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
If you wake up with a funny taste in your mouth on christmas morning...............just remember that santa only cums once a year. :D
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the woman.
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
Every pair of panties can be a thong if your a$$ is big enough.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.