Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
Dear Mom, If all my friends jumped off a cliff, it`s because it was my idea. Sincerely, Your child is a leader, not a follower.
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with “According to the prophecy.”
Whats the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.
Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That`s where I come in.
Don`t play dumb with me. That`s a game you can`t win.
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
I`m a very modest person, mostly because I`m awesome.
I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed.
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.