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Sorry for accidentally karate kicking you. Sorry for high-fiving everyone who saw it.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
"I`m only having one" ...said by many, practiced by none.
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
I bet the first person that heard a parrot talk really lost their sh!t.
Don’t jump to confusions.
One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
You know you had an interesting day when your Google search history includes "rubber panda".
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.