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I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
Only thing harder than quitting cold turkey is quitting warm ham. It`s delicious.
Swag is for boys. Class is for men.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
Sea levels aren’t rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
I get my cardio from caffeine...
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
It`s Saturday morning. My neighbor has mowed his lawn AND weeded his garden. I`ve spent ten minutes trying to reach the remote with my foot.
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.