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I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of drunk me.
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
Find someone you`re good at.
Use a mirror and you will find, PI.E = 3.14
I really hate it when I have to watch the same channel for 2 days because the remote fell behind the couch.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
When children shy away, I say, "I don`t bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand life`s not easy.
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.