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I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
Folding laundry with a toddler is like trying to straighten a desk full of papers while a fan blows on it.
Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don`t make the rules people.
You think your wife is crazy now? Try divorcing her
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
So long pants! See you Monday!
I told everybody at work that I`ve got 18 cats just to make sure none of them ever want to come over for anything.
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
There is nothing worse then trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.
In the South, they remove the `g` from the end of most words. Just sayin`.