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The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
We`re all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it`s an intervention.
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
7 billion people on this planet and I can`t find one who doesn`t annoy the f*ck out of me.
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.
"Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.