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I`ve polished the mirror in the bathroom so much, you can see your face in it.
I forgot to make a resolution, so I`m pretty much going to just write out everything I did last night and add the word "stop" to the beginning.
We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like: “Well I’m bored, let’s go brush our teeth.”
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
Your things are terrific.
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
Office Tip: In a pinch a booger and a small piece of copy paper is as good as a post it note.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.