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I don`t smoke,i don`t drink,don`t do drugs. I only have one small problem, i lie.
If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I’m starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?