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The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed...
Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
My wife even says "NO" in her sleep. The force is strong with this one.
The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
Never squat with your spurs on
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
I`ve decided!! Iām giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
awesome collection!
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........
Nothing says IDGAF like an old lady at a slot machine wearing oxygen and smoking a cigarette.